But I Only....

Before reading the next phrases insert the word But at the beginning....

I only got drunk because she broke my heart.  I only cheated because he was abusive,  I only stole it because I really needed it.   Its only one rated R movie what can it hurt.  Work doesn’t pay me what they should so I’ll just take it out in trade.  I only curse while in traffic.  I’m so tired I’ll just skip church this one time.  Repentance is for sinners my acts were justified.  I am strong I can do this on my own, I don’t need God……..

Thought for the day:  We cannot hide any act of our lives from ourselves or from the Lord.   As prerequisites to forgiveness, there must first be recognition, remorse, then confession.  “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” In addition to recognizing our sins, we must feel sincere sorrow for what we have done. We must feel that our sins are terrible. We must want to unload and abandon them.


I previously spoke of Godly sorrow and the need to abandon my sins, but how did it come to that, what was the process to bring me to such Godly sorrow?  It was not an easy road I can tell you that.  I spent many of my days in the past with a chip on my shoulder.  Everywhere I went I felt others were judging me for my actions.  I would never be able to measure up because of my sins, they would forever follow me and I am as dirt.  At one point I even stopped going to church because I felt if I walked in the door I wouldn’t be welcomed and it would be awkward because I am the black sheep, I am the sinner and everyone knows it.  I suffered greatly for many years and  turned to even more sin as well as embracing beliefs I didn’t understand to try to escape.

I became entangled in a web satan had weaved for me with negative and false thinking coupled with depression and fear.  I found myself spending my days fighting to make people believe that I was respectable and a good person. I always found myself in awkward circumstances and conversations of worldliness and I continually worked as either a beggar to have people believe I was a good girl, or as a fighter to save my reputation.  When all the time, the truth was, I was really fighting only me…..

I had a knack of excusing away my choices. And though the things I said to myself were indeed true, for I really was having a hard time I really was hurting and suffering and needed to do something.  The fact remained that I made the choices of my life, and I could not push them away with an excuse or blame.  I knowingly disobeyed my Father in Heaven and until I admitted that to myself, the merry-go-round would not stop and satan would continue to wrap me up as his trophy.

I was literally physically exhausted from the fight and because I fought so hard it effected my well-being.  I developed health troubles and had many trips to the hospital; I became an emotional roller coaster.  I worried to the point that I feared even my own children could not love me because I was such a bad person; and I know they grew weary of hearing me apologize and excuse myself for being a bad mother and person. And while its true that many people did know of some of my more serious transgressions, the fact remains that most did not; yet I was too focused on hiding my sins from myself, and making myself belive that I was justified, to realize how things really worked.  I was spinning out of control and had to make a change, if I did not, the thought of what could happen to me was terrifying for I had even contemplated suicide.

Reality Check:  “There is no royal road to repentance, no privileged path to forgiveness. Every man must follow the same course whether he be rich or poor, educated or untrained, tall or short, prince or pauper, king or commoner”- Spencer W Kimball

It is said that the first step in the road to recovery from addiction is admitting.  That proves to be no different on the road to repentance.  We must admit to ourselves that we have sinned. If we do not admit this, we cannot repent.  Whether it is a sin of great seriousness, a sin of omission, or willful  disobedience, we cannot seek forgiveness until we admit to ourself and Heavenly Father that we have erred.

“Let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance. … Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point” (Alma 42:29–30) The scriptures advise us further not to justify our sinful practices (Luke 16:15–16).

I found some of the greatest relief of my life, when I wrote in my journal of my sins.  Yes I wrote the circumstances and I wrote all the things that surrounded why I made the choices, but I did not excuse the fact that I had offended the one person who had never left me, never hurt me, that gave me all that I needed and more.  I had offended my Father in Heaven.

It was not easy to admit to myself that I had been wrong.  The pain of those transgressions caused a heavy suffering of my heart and soul that was near unbearable.  But when I went to the Lord with them, that acknowledgement brought me a measure of peace and I knew that I had come home. When I was willing to give away my sins and follow him, I came to know God.  I began to understand that the Savior gave His life for us and suffered for our sins so that if we believed on his name and repented we would not have to carry that burden.  Each time I ignored what I had done, I trampled all that he died for, I threw away the gift.  So I followed the promptings from my intense prayers and fessed up thus, beginning my road to forgiveness.  

“I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.” Psalms 32:5

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is admitting when we are wrong and seek to make it right, that does not however, give us full throttle to beat ourselves up.  The Savior suffered so that we would not have to, the first step in accepting that gift is admitting our sin.  But we cannot let satan make us believe there is no hope.  We must stay strong and stay with God.

There is comfort and peace in admitting our mistakes, let us take note as we work through our days to  things we need to repair.

There is hope with repentance, let us then find ourselves in mighty prayer following the will of the Lord.



With Love, Dixie

Please join me next week for this series of blogs concerning the principles of repentance and my personal story of the road to safety and peace....

Divinely Loved

Welcome to Day 13 

If your just joining this series; this is a continuation of The Invitation, a  previously posted blog challenge.  Please feel free to read the other days and start at anytime! Incorporate this challenge to fit you!  Weekly, monthly, daily however it will work for you!   All material is original blog material written by Dixie. ( I just borrowed the idea ;)   Scripture suggestions are from my personal study, all thoughts and challenges are from my personal history and my future as I too continue to strive for more closeness to Christ.

Thought for the day:  I have been taught and believe that each individual that has ever been born into this world bears a special relationship to deity, and has been the actual spiritual son or daughter of God the Father in the pre-mortal world of spirits.  This means that you are the offspring of Deity, literal descendants of a Divine Father, inheriting godly attributes and potential. Each individual has in them divine nature.  What is the divine nature? It is the nature of God. It is the nature, perfection, personality, glory, power, and holiness not only of the Father but also of the Son, Jesus Christ, for he has partaken of the “fulness” and has become like the Father in every respect. We are promised that, since Christ has obtained this fulness, we, through obedience to him, may ultimately do so also.  In another sense, however, because we have not yet fully become like Heavenly Father, divine nature is something we must “be partakers of,”   The Apostle Peter gives us an understanding of what it means to “be partakers of Divine Nature”,  it is escaping “the corruption that is in the world through lust.”  To rise above the temporal and sensual and partake of the divine spirit of God.  To walk as Jesus walks, to walk with him…..Peter specifies faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, godliness, brotherly kindness, and charity  these are not demonstrated in perfection by fallen mankind here below, but by the Father and Son who are above. Yet, we are to obtain these qualities too, somehow, and become perfect therein. As you learn about God and then strive to become like him, you can actually draw down the powers of heaven to help you act more like Jesus Christ here and now thus developing your divine nature.

“When through the Gospel, the Spirit in man has so subdued the flesh that he can live without wilful transgression, the Spirit of God unites with his spirit, they become congenial companions, and the mind and will of the Creator is thus transmitted to the creature.”- Brigham Young

Penny in the shoe:  as you feel the penny in your shoe today remember that,  YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD….literally…..he knows you personally, he knows what you go through, he knows of your pain, he is aware to your needs….

Challenge for the day:  develope your divine nature, it is what brings you closer to Christ.  But keep in mind as you do that we have the specific characteristics of the divine nature laid out in the scriptures; however, it is a lifelong matter of faith and diligence. But it is also a matter of divine assistance, involving a personal relationship with Christ; and a study of Peter will show you that, divine nature of the Father and the Son are well within your reach. The process is just as real and operable as you are willing for it to be in your life.

For the daily challenge consider these questions and find an area to begin work on, TODAY…..

Am I striving continually to control any undesirable thoughts that would have produced unrighteous action.
During this past week, have I read the scriptures.
Am I moderate with the things that I do, including eating, internet, video games, tv, and the like….it is not good to overdo anything and takes away from the spirit.
Am I able to forebear against retaliating by words or actions.
Am I sincerely striving to become like God in my speech and actions.
Does Love of Jesus Christ prevail in the way I speak and treat others

Suggested Scripture Study: (reading made easy click to view) 2 Peter 1:4–8  2 Thessalonians 2:13,  Philippians 4:13. 2 Peter 1:5–7 Matthew 5:48

Journaling Thought:  Can you remember a time when you felt the love of the Lord just for you, as your elder brother…..

“Remember Who You Are”

Name withheld

About the time I turned 14 years old, my mother started talking in code. Just as I would run out the door for some new adventure with my friends, she would call out, “Remember who you are!”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, but I would pretend to understand and yell over my shoulder, “OK, Mom. Bye!” At times I would think about her coded message. What was she trying to say? I knew who I was. So what?

As I was growing up, life with my family was not always pleasant. After one particularly bad night, I remember staring at myself in the mirror, hardly recognizing the reflection staring back at me because my face was red from my father’s repeated slaps. I started crying, not knowing what to do or think. I thought about running away. Even worse, ideas of ending my unhappy life came into my confused mind.

At no other time—before or since—have I felt so alone. I felt worn out, almost willing to let the surrounding darkness take over. I looked into the mirror once more. I don’t even know myself, I cried inwardly. Then I heard my mother’s phrase repeated clearly and distinctly in my mind: Remember who you are! Remember who you are!

For the first time, I realized what my mother meant. She wanted me to remember my divine heritage. A phrase from the Primary song echoed in my mind: “I am a child of God” (Hymns, number 301). That sudden reminder helped me fight Satan’s temptation to do something foolish. The knowledge that my nature was divine would help me endure; my mother understood that, and I know she hoped that someday I would as well.

The Lord Jesus Christ is the perfect example of one who understood His divine heritage. The scriptures tell us that in His youth He “increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man” (Luke 2:52). The more His understanding grew, the better prepared He was to fulfill His role as the Savior of the world.

We will not be called upon to suffer as Jesus Christ did. But to help us overcome our trials, Heavenly Father has given us tools that can increase our understanding of our divine heritage. From the scriptures, we learn how others have recognized their roles as sons and daughters of God and have acted accordingly. From living prophets, we learn of our divine nature and potential. Through the priesthood, we can receive inspired blessings that remind us of our relationship to Heavenly Father. In the temple, we are instructed as we participate in sacred ordinances. And through prayer, we can obtain the help we need when we forget who we are.

The years following the night I figured out my mother’s code were difficult. But recognizing my divine nature helped me view my challenges with an eternal perspective. This knowledge eventually led me to marry in the temple and to work with my husband to rear a family firmly grounded in the gospel.

I still think often about my mother’s words. At times I have imagined a final moment with Heavenly Father before I departed for earth. I like to picture Him embracing me and urging me on with a few last words of advice: “Remember who you are!”

With Love from Dixie…..