Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Saturday, January 25, 2020

How Does that Work Again??



Sacrament meeting speaking assignment January 27th 2020


I was asked a question two weeks ago, in preparing for this assignment to speak, it was, "How does faith in Jesus Christ give us hope and strength to carry on?" When I was asked this question, my mind immediately flooded with memories of my life, and the miracle that I am still here today. In thinking about this I prayed for the last two weeks about what I should say, what I should focus on and what I should share and this is what came to my mind.

Do you need to know that things will get better? Is there one of you today, reading this that has a great desire or even a desperate need in some way to know, things will get better? Well, the answer is of course, every one of us has times when we need to know things will get better, some of us are just at a different level of need than others.

Jeffery R Holland tells us that "For emotional health and spiritual stamina, everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite, to something pleasant and renewing and hopeful, whether that blessing be near at hand or still some distance ahead. " We just need to know we can get there, that however far away, there is the promise of “good things to come. We all need to know that things will get better, its how we carry on, and this is exactly what the gospel of Jesus Christ offers us, especially in times of obvious need, so I'd like to tell you a little of why I know this is true.

The first tragic super tragic event that took place in my life, was in Nevada Iowa in April 1988 when my three year old daughter died in a freakish playground accident. I cannot describe to you the pain of that event, for there are not words but what I can tell you is that through this horrific event, strange as it may seem, I gained hope.

I had been a reckless young adult and made many mistakes, I lived in personal turbulent times, some of my own making some of others; but even in those times I never gave up, I kept going to church, I kept repenting, and I kept striving to do my best until one day Satan got the upper hand and I gave up in my heart, That's when the light left, that's when the darkness came and the struggle was near unbearable. It wasn't until the day my daughter died that things began to change. The day she died I had a choice I could stay in the world and be mad at God blaming him for such tragedies and trials, or I could embrace the gospel and gain understanding, hope and strength and press forward. I chose the gospel and began to know Christ. I cried to the Savior day and night for help and in the meantime dedicated myself to repentance and putting all of my faith and hope in Him, then waited for peace to come. Many of my friends and even my husband at the time left me because I chose the gospel, I chose Christ over the world. But I had gained an inner strength in making this choice and I was no longer afraid or helpless, I would not let Satan win so I pressed forward. How did faith in Jesus Christ give me hope and strength to carry on in such a horrible time? Through prayer and study He taught me basic principles of the gospel that gave me a first a testimony of the gospel and repentance, then of life after death and the ordinances of the temple and I knew I didn't have to be afraid and that I would be with my daughter again. Through talking to Him, church attendance, and personal progress, he brought me a measure of peace, that has grown throughout the years. And as I reflect on this event I can't imagine surviving such an trial by making the choice of the world.

I was pregnant when all this happened, and I did not loose my baby but he was born two months early in full respiratory distress with collapsed lungs and a host of other problems. The doctor who had pronounced my daughter told me once again that my child would not live and I should make arrangements. But I was not willing to give up. I had read and studied about the miracles of Christ and I knew that the priesthood was on earth today, I believed in it, it was my only hope; so I chose to call my Bishop. He along with three other elders came and administered to my son. The same way that Christ and His apostles administered to those in need. I was not in the room when this was done but I prayed and I believed. I was told by the doctor and nurses that they had never experienced anything like what they had seen when my son received his blessing. I took him home three weeks later, a true miracle witnessed by believers and non believers alike. How did faith in Jesus Christ give me hope and strength to carry on? He taught me that miracles did not cease when He and the apostles left this world. The priesthood has been restored and mighty things are possible even with just a mustard seed of faith.

In 2009 On August 8 the birthday of my daughter who died, I received a phone call at 130am telling me that my son, the baby who had been saved by the miracle, had been shot. I then received a second call telling me that he had taken the shot himself. At first I thought it was a bad prank but quickly found out it was not and I was in complete horror and shock. My son born and saved after the death of my daughter died on her birthday as a victim of suicide, it was extremely surreal. Again I had two options to take, the way of the world, or Jesus Christ. Would I let Satan win, for this was a hard blow, so much so that I thought I wouldn't live through it. But upon hanging up the phone, I fell to my knees on the kitchen floor and began to pray. I cried out to the Savior in desperation and pleaded for his help. In the coming months and years since every time I felt a wave of panic wash over me I fell to my knees, when things felt surreal and I couldn't breath I fell to my knees, when the nightmares came I kneeled at my bedside, I talked to Jesus Christ more than I talked to anyone living on this earth, For this by far was the hardest thing I would ever face, not only had my daughter died but now my son was a victim of suicide. And these were not the only trials in my life at this time, these were just the monumental things. Turmoil ruled my world and it was a daily struggle to stay afloat. So how did faith in Jesus Christ give me hope and strength to carry on? By prayer, priesthood blessings, and scripture study the Savior taught me that by loosing myself in service the pain would not go away but I would understand it and he would help and guide me through all things that I ever faced.c

Like other people I have suffered a tremendous amount of trial and tribulations both physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and temporally. My life has literally been one tribulation after another, some, like before, caused by me, some by others and some just came out of nowhere. All I know about life is how to call upon Christ and survive. Its funny because when my best friend asked what topic I was assigned to speak on and I told her she said well that's your whole life, you got this one wrapped up. And I had to laugh a little but it was a good laugh, a laugh of love because I do know that I carry on today because of Jesus Christ.

So how does faith in Jesus Christ give us hope and strength to carry on? Elder Jeffery R Holland taught that Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them. Christ was “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” His career to some seemed a failure, a tragedy, a good man totally overwhelmed by the evils surrounding Him and the misdeeds of others. He was misunderstood or misrepresented, even hated. No matter what He said or did, His statements were twisted, His actions suspected, His motives impugned. In the entire history of the world no one has ever loved so purely or served so selflessly—and been treated so diabolically for His effort. Yet nothing could break His faith in His Father’s plan or His Father’s promises. Even in those darkest hours at Gethsemane and Calvary, He pressed on, continuing to trust in the very God whom He momentarily feared had forsaken Him.

Because Christ’s eyes were unfailingly fixed on the future, He could endure all that was required of Him, suffer as no man can suffer except it be “unto death,” How could He do this? How could He believe it? Because He knows that for the faithful, things will be made right soon enough. He knows that “the Lord … will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. … For the needy shall not alway[s] be forgotten: the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.” He knows that “the Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” He knows that “the Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.”

How does faith in Jesus Christ give us hope and strength to carry on? Because he knows us, he knows the things you are pondering in your heart this very moment that are troubling you, that beset you, that trial you. He knows your pain, and if you “Don’t give up, Don’t quit. keep walking. keep trying there is help and happiness ahead. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

I testify that these are not just words, these are truths, all you have to do is believe even with the simplest of beliefs and faith and he will come, the help will come. I am living proof that the help does come! I have a journal full of miracles that testify. God Lives brothers and sisters! Jesus Christ is his Son our brother who died to save and succor us.

Some have lovingly told me that I have endured more than anyone should be asked to endure. That may be so sometimes it feels that way but truly, in reality, my story is not tragic but full of miracles, it is full of tender mercies, it is full of being saved, it is full of happiness and gratitude and strength when I thought I could not go on, it is full of the help Jesus Christ gave me and still gives me today. I would not be who I am today had I not lived through it all and came to know Christ. And it was faith in Him that lead the way.

Together God our eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ sustain us in our hour of need and always will, even if we cannot recognize that intervention. Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they do come. and I testify of this truth to you today in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Not So Secret

 My shift is 3-11pm with a long hour drive to and from work.  As I drive to work I take time to think about the events around me.  What may be going on at work itself, whats going on with my kids and home, and about the world today and things we face.  Sometimes I may be having personal issues and need to focus and ponder on my faith and making it greater that I may understand my weaknesses, trials and tribulations, or sometimes I may be struggling to understand a principle or just why the world is such the state that it is.

  On the way to work I spend a lot of that time talking to Heavenly Father.  I have my prayers in the morning upon waking, but on that drive many times, its just a talk that I need to have with him, for things that I question or problems that need solving and often times its about scriptures or things that I've read to help me to better understand.

My drive home is usually spent streaming the Mormon Channel  from my cell phone (yes I'm a Mormon) and I like to listen to stories and examples and teachings that help to guide and give me strength; however, there are also those times when I leave it quiet.  When there is no streaming and no sound for the entire hour and its just me inviting the spirit in and listening.  I think about things I've read, the questions of my heart, or maybe I'm trying to wrap my mind around a concept or principle and often during this time, an answer will come, an understanding will be made clear, or a blog will pop into my mind and I am filled with great gratitude for the communication we can have with our Father in Heaven.

After arriving home and setting down; then is the time for my daily reading and study.  I have to take the time to have that Heavenly end, if you will, to my day.  I want the last thoughts I have before closing my eyes to be that of the Lord, so I end the day with a prayer and open my scriptures. 

In doing this I rotate my study between the Bible, Book of Mormon, and Doctrine and Covenants and as I read I refer to references in each; ie cross referencing verses in the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants with verses in the Bible.  In doing so I see how they all fit together and I gain a greater understanding of the information and instruction that Heavenly Father would have me learn.

This week my studies took me to the Book of Mormon and these are the thoughts that came to my mind.

The words "Secret Combination"  in the Book of Mormon mean to conspire to do evil, to make a pact and secretly destroy for personal gain. The book of Mormon and the Bible are replete with example of secret combinations that have come down from the begging of time, even from Cain himself as he conspired with Satan.  It is also full of words from prophets preaching, guiding and instructing not only those of their own day but also we in our day about repentance and how to guard and protect ourselves from "Old Scratch".   Their teachings help us to learn to stay clean and stay with God.  They tell us to choose carefully the things we would do and say for the Devil even that old serpent is sly and cunning and his ways will devour us and we will not even know that he has done so until it is too late.

When we as a people think of secret combinations, conspiracy, or evil I think we automatically think of the Mafia, Gangs, Politics, the Government, things that are or have become plainly evil in our day.  However I believe there is more to it and there are secret combinations right in front of us that are more successful in destruction yet, they have become so common place we don't always see them. 

This morning I was listening to a Professor of Ancient Scripture from Brigham Young University speak on just this subject and he said that when he talks to his class and explains secret combinations  he asks them how many of their family or friends have been killed by the Mafia or Gangs and maybe one now and then will raise a hand.  Then he asks how many of them have had family or friends lives destroyed from Alcoholism, Pornography or Tobacco and almost every hand goes up.  He then explains that the producers of many socially acceptable things are far more effective at destroying lives than some of these other groups.  The way they, the sellers of these products, do business with callous disconcern for people is destroying to get gain, therefore they fit the profile for being a secret combination, a destructive force in society.  So then we can say, a secret combination can be an organization or institution, but the attitude of gaining for oneself by preying on others is also very much a secret combination. 

Through the scriptures the words of the Lord have warned us:  

"Behold, verily, thus saith the Lord unto you: in consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days, I have warned you, and forewarn you....."  Doctrine and Covenants 89:4

I believe that for today we must think about those things that we participate in, that we agree with, that we make a part of our lives, and choose carefully.  Even everyday things that we might not think of as being destructive could very well be.  If we prayerfully approach our daily decisions and live so that we may invite and retain the spirit with us always we can be protected from these forces that the world sees as normal but the Lord has warned us is not.

Satan is cunning this is something we should remember as we search our lives and make choices.   I hope and pray that I will be able to always remember this and will make those decisions that will be good in the eyes of Heavenly Father, I pray I can have my eyes wide open at all times and withstand the evil for myself and help my famiy to do so also..... and, I hope you the reader will too.....

With Love from Dixie


Monday, November 2, 2015

Sunday, March 8, 2015

I Was Just Thinking.....

I was thinking last week that I needed to write a blog entitled "Mormon Dictionary" Because although we as Mormons share with other Christian faiths a vocabulary of biblical terms, we also have a diverse language of our own and sometimes even those who are members don't fully understand some meanings.   I would include those words and phrases that are very and most times uniquely Latter-Day Saint that sometimes have a more in-depth meaning such as free agency, foreordination, plan of salvation, patriarchal blessing, and my personal favorite eternal perspective.

I chose eternal perspective as my favorite "Mormon word" because even the flow of it from the mouth seems to ring out a sound of hope and escape from a world of death and pain.  We are taught, as we come to baptism and membership in the church to think not worldly, or presently, but eternally; that we might develop an eternal perspective to comfort and strengthen us in our daily living until our work upon this earth is done.  How peaceful the thought.... life is not just today or tomorrow, it is, forever....

After thinking about that, and how those two words seem to flow into one, I googled the word perspective just to see what came up and this is what particularly struck me of the several definitions:  "Perspective, a true understanding of the relative importance of things..."  Then I googled the word eternal and got " valid for all time; essentially unchanging..." If we put the two meanings together to fit our word we have, "eternal perspective: a true understanding of the relative importance of things that are unchanging, and valid for all time."  Next I "Mormoniszed it and this is what wI came up with: "eternal perspective: a true understanding and knowledge of the relative importance of the gospel of Jesus Christ which is unchanging and valid for all time."  I say then that this is not only a beautiful Mormon word, but indeed a very important one, one that stems from our core.

As Latter-day saints we belive in forever, and as we grow in our knowledge of the gospel,  it should be our goal to conduct our lives on earth in a forever manner.  Eternal life, when considering an eternal perspective is the greatest of all gifts from God.  It is reserved for those who believe and obey.  It is our hope of a better life to come that enables us to stand against the trials and temptations of the world.  When we gain an eternal perspective of where we come from, why we are here and what lies ahead, we are able to better govern our choices while here on earth.

After pondering these things and this word I'd chosen as my favorite, I thought about myself.  When Sunday comes I am in that thinking mode.  Its time to keep the day holy, to make good choices, to ready myself for spiritual enlightenment.  I gear up for a day of service and love and make my choices based on the eternal principles that I know to be true.  But, what about the rest of the week.  What is it like when I walk out of this building following the meetings and go out into the world to make preparing ourselves to return to Heavenly Father.  What are my thoughts like when faced with decision-making throughout the work week. When faced with big challenges and choices I always remember what I've learned.  I  call upon the Lord and fast and pray and find a way with the help of the Savior to make the right decision, one that will have a positive impact not only in this life but the life to come.   My question for myself then was what about the other choices, how do I react in my day-to-day interactions, are the choices I make, even the little ones,  in keeping with that eternal perspective?  It as while thinking about this and searching and studying that I found a story.....

A certain man, having lived a long and productive life, was getting ready to meet his Maker. One night he had a dream during which he was told that because he had been generous with his considerable worldly wealth he would be permitted to take his most valued possession with him when he passed on to the other world. The next morning, the old man set out to put his affairs in order. He liquidated his assets and gave half of all he had to charities and other good purposes. The other half he had converted into gold bars. Upon his death, Saint Peter met him and welcomed him to his new home. But when he noticed the large and heavy bag that the man was carrying, Saint Peter reminded him that no one could bring any earthly goods with them to this place. The old man described his dream and indicated that he had been given special permission to bring this treasure with him.  “Okay,” said Saint Peter, “if you have permission. But may I see what you chose as your greatest treasure?” When Saint Peter looked into the bag, he stepped back in amazement and questioned, “For your treasure you brought pavement?”

This story is all about how things can be seen while here on earth.  And when thinking about it are we at many times not unlike this man waiting at the pearly gates with his bags of gold.  As humans, we tend sometimes, to cling to things and ideas that seem so valuable and important, yet in the end, may really be quite worthless.  It is very important that we not assume the perspectives of mortality in making decisions that bear our eternity. We need to understand that we cannot do the Lord's work in the worlds way.  If we really believe that God is real, it should begin to change, or determine all of our thinking, and even the small choices can begin to be made with an eternal perspective.

The scriptures can teach us so much about keeping an eternal perspective in our day-to-day interactions and one story that sticks out in my mind is that of Esau in Genesis Chapter 25.  When reading about him, we learn that arriving home one day from a hunting expedition, a famished Esau longed for his brother’s food. “Feed me, I pray thee,” Esau pled (Gen. 25:30). Jacob agreed, but for a price: his brother’s birthright. The scripture says, “Esau despised his birthright” (Gen. 25:34).  and he says, upon request to sell it, "Behold I am at the point to die, what profit shall this birthright do to me?"  If by this Esau saw his birth right as pertaining only to this life, he did not have an eternal perspective which then influenced his choice most negatively.  So let us then ask ourselves daily, are we too selling our birthright with our choices?  Do we have an eternal perspective and does it influence all of our choices, or do we fall for the things of the world forgetting the Lord?

When we remember the Lord and keep the end goal im mind we gain great blessings, gifts and strength.  Daily as we choose with an eternal perspective, we will be blessed and comforted.  We will gain respect for the integrity of our steadfastness in gospel center choices such as not cursing, choosing our activities with care, and watching our temper.  We will have better health in living the word of wisdom, we will gain a personal peace in making and keeping sacred covenants with temple attendance,  Our homes will be a haven as we make them a place where the Lord can dwell.  The service we give to others through magnifying our church callings or otherwise will bring us knowledge and healing.  And Temporal trials, set backs or struggles become an opportunity to develop soul power.  In keeping an eternal perspective with our choices we gain great strength and forge through adversity developing faith that is life changing, that is strong and forever.
As most of you know I have identified myself as a connoisseur of trials.  I have personally lived through struggles that I belive no one should have to go through,  and that I thought I would never survive but when keeping my thoughts upon eternity my choices through these times became different from that of the world and I did survive, in fact I am a new person today because of them.  I really don't want to live through those trials again, but I am truly grateful for the teaching they gave me on keeping my eyes upon eternity always.  Now, my goal is to make my everyday choices even better and to treat them as I do the big things and make a choice based upon eternalness.  When I get cut off in Dallas traffic, when I work with someone who is difficult, when I am aggravated with things at home, when I am faced with temptations of being lax or lazy, when I am depressed and broken-hearted over the challenges of life, It will be my goal to remember to make the choices for the day, for the moment, with an eternal perspective; to choose the right, to choose for eternity and not the world.

It is my desire today, that your favorite Mormon word might to become eternal perspective.  That we may all become more determined to live by Heavenly Father's plan using our moral agency to make decisions based on truth and not on worldly standards.  That as we all draw farther from worldliness we will feel closer to Father in Heaven and more able to be guided by his spirit.

President Spencer W Kimball said, : If we live in such a way that the considerations of eternity press upon us, we will make better decisions."

My prayer is that not one of us will show up with pavement....

With Love, Dixie


Sunday, March 1, 2015

But I Only....

Before reading the next phrases insert the word But at the beginning....

I only got drunk because she broke my heart.  I only cheated because he was abusive,  I only stole it because I really needed it.   Its only one rated R movie what can it hurt.  Work doesn’t pay me what they should so I’ll just take it out in trade.  I only curse while in traffic.  I’m so tired I’ll just skip church this one time.  Repentance is for sinners my acts were justified.  I am strong I can do this on my own, I don’t need God……..

Thought for the day:  We cannot hide any act of our lives from ourselves or from the Lord.   As prerequisites to forgiveness, there must first be recognition, remorse, then confession.  “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” In addition to recognizing our sins, we must feel sincere sorrow for what we have done. We must feel that our sins are terrible. We must want to unload and abandon them.


I previously spoke of Godly sorrow and the need to abandon my sins, but how did it come to that, what was the process to bring me to such Godly sorrow?  It was not an easy road I can tell you that.  I spent many of my days in the past with a chip on my shoulder.  Everywhere I went I felt others were judging me for my actions.  I would never be able to measure up because of my sins, they would forever follow me and I am as dirt.  At one point I even stopped going to church because I felt if I walked in the door I wouldn’t be welcomed and it would be awkward because I am the black sheep, I am the sinner and everyone knows it.  I suffered greatly for many years and  turned to even more sin as well as embracing beliefs I didn’t understand to try to escape.

I became entangled in a web satan had weaved for me with negative and false thinking coupled with depression and fear.  I found myself spending my days fighting to make people believe that I was respectable and a good person. I always found myself in awkward circumstances and conversations of worldliness and I continually worked as either a beggar to have people believe I was a good girl, or as a fighter to save my reputation.  When all the time, the truth was, I was really fighting only me…..

I had a knack of excusing away my choices. And though the things I said to myself were indeed true, for I really was having a hard time I really was hurting and suffering and needed to do something.  The fact remained that I made the choices of my life, and I could not push them away with an excuse or blame.  I knowingly disobeyed my Father in Heaven and until I admitted that to myself, the merry-go-round would not stop and satan would continue to wrap me up as his trophy.

I was literally physically exhausted from the fight and because I fought so hard it effected my well-being.  I developed health troubles and had many trips to the hospital; I became an emotional roller coaster.  I worried to the point that I feared even my own children could not love me because I was such a bad person; and I know they grew weary of hearing me apologize and excuse myself for being a bad mother and person. And while its true that many people did know of some of my more serious transgressions, the fact remains that most did not; yet I was too focused on hiding my sins from myself, and making myself belive that I was justified, to realize how things really worked.  I was spinning out of control and had to make a change, if I did not, the thought of what could happen to me was terrifying for I had even contemplated suicide.

Reality Check:  “There is no royal road to repentance, no privileged path to forgiveness. Every man must follow the same course whether he be rich or poor, educated or untrained, tall or short, prince or pauper, king or commoner”- Spencer W Kimball

It is said that the first step in the road to recovery from addiction is admitting.  That proves to be no different on the road to repentance.  We must admit to ourselves that we have sinned. If we do not admit this, we cannot repent.  Whether it is a sin of great seriousness, a sin of omission, or willful  disobedience, we cannot seek forgiveness until we admit to ourself and Heavenly Father that we have erred.

“Let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance. … Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point” (Alma 42:29–30) The scriptures advise us further not to justify our sinful practices (Luke 16:15–16).

I found some of the greatest relief of my life, when I wrote in my journal of my sins.  Yes I wrote the circumstances and I wrote all the things that surrounded why I made the choices, but I did not excuse the fact that I had offended the one person who had never left me, never hurt me, that gave me all that I needed and more.  I had offended my Father in Heaven.

It was not easy to admit to myself that I had been wrong.  The pain of those transgressions caused a heavy suffering of my heart and soul that was near unbearable.  But when I went to the Lord with them, that acknowledgement brought me a measure of peace and I knew that I had come home. When I was willing to give away my sins and follow him, I came to know God.  I began to understand that the Savior gave His life for us and suffered for our sins so that if we believed on his name and repented we would not have to carry that burden.  Each time I ignored what I had done, I trampled all that he died for, I threw away the gift.  So I followed the promptings from my intense prayers and fessed up thus, beginning my road to forgiveness.  

I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.” Psalms 32:5

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is admitting when we are wrong and seek to make it right, that does not however, give us full throttle to beat ourselves up.  The Savior suffered so that we would not have to, the first step in accepting that gift is admitting our sin.  But we cannot let satan make us believe there is no hope.  We must stay strong and stay with God.

There is comfort and peace in admitting our mistakes, let us take note as we work through our days to  things we need to repair.

There is hope with repentance, let us then find ourselves in mighty prayer following the will of the Lord.



With Love, Dixie

Please join me next week for this series of blogs concerning the principles of repentance and my personal story of the road to safety and peace....



Sunday, February 22, 2015

Not as Bad as You Think

Repentance, that is always a scary word it seems.  People fear it, others, in place of fear become angry with it.  Some accusingly see it as a religious control tactic, and others believe that if there is a real punishment for sin its through a simple confession or prayer and then God will simply beat us with a few stripes after which we will be saved in the kingdom forever.    I believe however, that when a person develops true faith, faith in Jesus Christ; they begin to see things in a different light.  I believe real sincere faith in a person will bring them to a point where they want to be different, where they want to be like Christ; so repentance then, becomes viewed differently.  It becomes seen not as a scary thing or matter of a checklist and Sunday confession after a party weekend.  It becomes rather an opportunity of choice, a gift, and that is what it became for me.

Thought for the day:  “Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace. Rather than interrupting the celebration, the gift of repentance is the cause for true celebration.” – D Todd Christofferson

What is repentance?  The Guide to Scriptures gives us this definition:  “A change of mind and heart that brings a fresh attitude toward God, oneself, and life in general. Repentance implies that a person turns away from evil and turns his heart and will to God, submitting to God’s commandments and desires and forsaking sin. True repentance comes from a love for God and a sincere desire to obey his commandments. All accountable persons have sinned and must repent in order to progress toward salvation. Only through the atonement of Jesus Christ can our repentance become effective and accepted by God.”

Why repentance?  We come to earth for the purpose of growing and progressing. This is a lifelong process. During this time that we are here on earth,  we all sin. We all have need to repent. Sometimes we sin because of ignorance, sometimes because of our weaknesses, and sometimes because of willful disobedience. In the Bible we read that “there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not” and that “if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” Romans 3:23  Ecclesiastes 7:20  1 John 1:8. When we die, we will be returned to the presence of God Alma 40:11.  Thus we need repentance for “no unclean thing can dwell with God”.

I like to think of myself as a “just man”.  I never did harm, not intentionally I only wanted to do good.  Yet in my life there were times that I did sin.  Sometimes it was because of ignorance, sometimes it was due to weakness, and at other times it was pure wilful disobedience.  Even so, the more I developed faith, a testimony of the gospel and true love for Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ, the more I hated my choices, and I just couldn’t live with myself knowing that even though I had a change of heart and no longer made those choices or lived that lifestyle; still they lurked in the corners of my mind and around every bend I turned.  They brought upon my soul great grief and I was terribly troubled as I ministered to family members and friends sharing with them the Gospel.

I remember exactly when it began,  that I knew my good intentions were not enough; it was the day my husband was baptized.  As I watched him being immersed in the water, I found myself wishing it was me, wishing I could be new, that I could be rid of all that followed me, wishing that I could be the daughter of God I so desired and strived to be. I was active in the church, one hundred percent or more.  I lived the lifestyle of a Latter-day saint and I encouraged and begged my children and family to do the same.  I went so far as to bribe my oldest son, who was not living at home, with gas money.  If he would just please come to the baptism and support my husband whom we all loved, I would give him gas money for his car.  The baptism proved to be a very spiritual time for all of us but none more than my son I think, for when he came to me after the service to get his money,  he was crying.  I asked him what was wrong but he couldn’t talk, he just gave me a hug took his money and left.  Later on that evening he came to talk to me, about church.  He said he felt something that he’d never felt before and it burned within him, he believed, and he wanted to come back and start attending again and making things right.  I was never more happy than at that moment, and right away put him on the path back to his roots.  This is what made me think.  I had testified to my husband and shared with him the gospel and he was baptised.  I had testified time and again to my son and encouraged him to return and he was doing so; so how could I be a part of this newly forming eternal family if I wasn’t living the things I was teaching them.  I had to make myself right.  So began my journey of earnestly praying, with every fiber of my being.  With the deepest Godly sorrow falling upon my knees and seeking the guidance of Heavenly Father I repented to him of the things that made me feel bad, of the things that I carried.  Never before had I sought Heavenly Father in this manner.  Not because I didn’t want to but until I had a true change of heart that came with strengthened faith and Godly sorrow, I didn’t understand how to repent.  I discovered that it was much more than just confessing of my sins, it was about my broken heart…..

Through this time and these prayers the Lord, with such love, ministered to me and taught me the meaning of true repentance.  He taught me all that I needed to do and answered all my questions by literally answering my prayers even sometimes while I was still on my knees crying.  It was not a great cloud burst and visions of grandeur, it wasn’t as many preachers shout about at the pulpits of hell fire and brimstone.  But is was a quiet tender burning in my heart that was sent with messages to my mind and I knew, I KNEW, that He was real, the Savior was real,  and he was speaking to me and guiding me.  That He loved me and would hold me up while I did all that I could to live as he wanted me to live. I did not have to be afraid……

In our journey’s here upon the earth, no one is perfect, so Christ in his infinite mercy suffered and died that we may be offered the choice of repentance.  Though it is a gift, it is not an easy choice.  But when the desire hits you, and that great feeling of truth coupled with an overwhelming need for change comes, and you act upon it with the help and love of the Savior; it becomes a necessary road and a life changing experience.  There is no need to fear, there is no need to discredit the need for repentance, there is no need to turn away.  Rather let us receive it with faith and great thanksgiving.

Every time we sin, we die a little spiritually.  With each act that we let go on, the light falls away, little by little, until finally there is nothing but heaviness and darkness. What a gift Christ has given us through his Atoning sacrifice that we may not die fully but yet live.

Repentance is a different experience for each individual, and only God knows the hearts and minds of “men”.  But we should not be afraid or procrastinate.  Some, like I had; may have serious transgressions to work through, but all of us, everyone, are in need of a constant life long procession that includes making ourselves right before God through the Atoning Sacrifice of the Savior.  Daily.

There is much to understand in the repentance process and I hope as I take this time in sharing with you my personal journey it will touch your heart.  Please join me for my next blog that will continue with the principle and story of my road through repentance, for what you’ve read, was just the beginning, yet even now, I am a new woman…..

With Love
Dixie

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Hope of Things not Seen

This is a continuation of The Invitation, a  previously posted blog challenge.  We are now on Day 11.  Please feel free to read the other days and start at anytime! Incorporate this challenge to fit you!  Weekly, monthly, daily however it will work for you!   All material is original blog material written by Dixie. ( I just borrowed the idea ;)   Scripture suggestions are from my personal study, all thoughts and challenges are from my personal history and my future as I too continue to strive for more closeness to Christ.  

Thought for the day:   Would we work each day if we did not hope that by doing so we could accomplish something? Each day we act upon things we hope for when we cannot see the end result. This is faith.  Faith is a strong belief of truth within our souls that motivates us to do good.

To have faith in Jesus Christ means to have such trust in Him that we obey whatever He commands. As we place our faith in Jesus Christ, becoming His obedient disciples, Heavenly Father will forgive our sins and prepare us to return to Him.  The Savior teaches us that if we have faith as the grain of a mustard seed, nothing shall be impossible to you.  A mustard seed is very small but, grows into a large tree.  Thus the lesson is we should increase our faith, the more faith we have, the stronger faith we have, the better we will be.

How do we increase our faith?  We study, we pray, we work on it.  We increase our faith by acting on our desire to have faith.  But keep in mind "faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone” (James 2:17)  “There must be works with faith. How foolish it would be to ask the Lord to give us knowledge, but how wise to ask the Lord’s help to acquire knowledge, to study constructively, to think clearly, and to retain things that we have learned” ......…"know this, that just as undaunted faith has stopped the mouths of lions, made ineffective fiery flames, opened dry corridors through rivers and seas, protected against deluge and drouth, and brought heavenly manifestations at the instance of prophets, so in each of our lives faith can heal the sick, bring comfort to those who mourn, strengthen resolve against temptation, relieve from the bondage of harmful habits, lend strength to repent and change our lives, and lead to a sure knowledge of the divinity of Jesus Christ. Indomitable faith can help us live the commandments with a willing heart and thereby bring blessings unnumbered. …”-Spencer W Kimball

Penny in the shoe:  as you feel the penny in your shoe, think about your everyday activities. What are things you act upon each day that you cannot see the end results of? How does faith move you to action?

Challenge for the day:   Act on your desire to have faith or to increase and strengthen your faith.  An important way to increase our faith is to hear and study the word of the Lord as well as improving daily in living the commandments.


“In faith we plant the seed, and soon we see the miracle of the blossoming. Men have often misunderstood and have reversed the process.... many of us want to have health and strength without keeping the health laws. We want to have prosperity without paying our tithes. We want to be close to the Lord but don’t want to fast and pray. We want to have rain in due season and to have peace in the land without observing the Sabbath as a holy day and without keeping the other commandments of the Lord.-Spencer W. Kimball

Suggested Scripture Study:  (reading made easy just click to view) 
Hebrews 11  Exodus 14:19–22   Genesis 6–8   Matthew 8:5–33   Mark 5:25–34   Romans 10:17   Alma 32

Journaling Thought:  What relationship do you see between your faith and your actions?


"Finding Faith in Christ" is a short film below that  I hope will touch your heart, and put us on our way to finding more faith in Christ......

Love from Dixie


Monday, February 9, 2015

Be not afraid, Only believe......

This is a continuation of The Invitation, a  previously posted blog challenge.  We are now on Day 8.  Please feel free to read the other days and start at anytime! Incorporate this challenge to fit you!  Weekly, monthly, daily however it will work for you!   All material is original blog material written by Dixie. ( I just borrowed the idea ;)   Scripture suggestions are from my personal study, all thoughts and challenges are from my personal history and my future as I too continue to strive for more closeness to Christ.

Thought for the day:  In order to walk with Christ, we must not only appreciate what he has done for us, but also to understand it.  The Atonement, the greatest gift to mankind, its what we need to believe in.  Yet, beliving in and then accepting the Atonment requres a special effort, but it is something we must do, we must not be afraid to believe.  The Atonement is the sacrifice Jesus Christ made to help us overcome sin, adversity, and death. Jesus’s atoning sacrifice took place in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary. He paid the price for our sins, took upon Himself death, and was resurrected. The Atonement is the supreme expression of the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  We refer to Christ as our great Redeemer.  In the Guide to the scriptures this is the definition of redeem:  To deliver, to purchase, or to ransom, such as to free a person from bondage by payment. Redemption refers to the atonement of Jesus Christ and to deliverance from sin. Jesus’ atonement redeems all mankind from physical death. Through his atonement, those who have faith in him and who repent are also redeemed from spiritual death.  Atonement in the Bible Dictionary means To reconcile man to God.  As you study and ponder today think about these key principles of the Atonment:

All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

 The Atonment helps us to overcome the “natural man” and become true diciples of Christ.

The Atonment is evidence of the love Heavely Father has for us.

Penny in the shoe: everytime you feel the penny in your shoe today, think about the Atonment, in a real literal sense, think about it as if it actually happened, because it did…..

Challenge for the day:  Prayer.  Humbly pray to Father in Heaven and ask him for a wittness of the truth of the Atonement of his son Jesus Christ, ask him for guidence in understanding.  Think about what the attonment has done for you in your life, or what it can do for you in your life, think about its inclusiveness for loss, disappointment, discouragment, forgiveness, pain, heartache and so on…….

Suggessted Scripture Reading (reading made easy just click to view) :Romans 5:8, 10–11   View Matthew 4   View John 13

Journaling Thought:   Some feel weighed down with discouragement about the circumstances of their personal lives, even when they are making sustained and admirable efforts. Frequently, these feelings of self-disappointment come not from wrongdoing, but from stresses and troubles for which we may not be fully to blame. The Atonement of Jesus Christ applies to these experiences because it applies to all of life. The Savior can wipe away all of our tears, after all we can do.- Bruce C. Hafen

Visual Effects: 

 
 








My Lesson on the Atonement

I had been praying over a period of several weeks to better understand the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. One morning while helping my young son Kyle get ready for school, I found myself growing impatient as time drew near to catch the school bus and he wasn’t ready. A neighbor girl stopped by to walk with Kyle to the bus stop. Worried she might miss the bus, I sent her ahead. This meant Kyle would also have to walk alone, and he complained bitterly to me.
I knelt down and looked him in the eye and roughly scolded him for taking so long to get ready and then complaining to me about walking alone. As I looked at him, I saw his eyes fill with tears, and he pulled his hat down over his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at my angry face. I realized how vulnerable and tender children are and how loud and reproving I had been. I stopped and tried to apologize, helped him get his boots on, and sent him off to school.
As I watched this discouraged little person run for the bus stop, I thought of my inappropriate actions. Of all places and all people in this world, home and mother should be a refuge—a place to find peace and love. I berated myself for my carelessness and failings as a mother and felt absolutely terrible.
Suddenly a gentle and loving thought came into my mind: this is what the Atonement is for. Tears came, and I prayed for forgiveness. I pleaded with Heavenly Father to bless my son so he would not suffer for my mistakes. I still felt sad, but I knew that through the Atonement things could be made right again.
Weeks later I shared this insight with a friend. As I talked, I pondered why I had been blessed with such a powerful testimony of the Atonement. Again, a gentle thought came into my mind that this had been in answer to my prayers. “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find” (Matt. 7:7). Even though I had been praying for more understanding of the Atonement, I had failed to see a direct answer to my prayer until that reminder came to me.
I know Heavenly Father loves each of us and wants us to repent of our shortcomings and also to rid ourselves of feelings of discouragement. How grateful I am for the Atonement, which brings healing and forgiveness into our lives


Love From Dixie

Saturday, February 7, 2015

In Gratitude.....





This is a continuation of The Invitation, a  previously posted blog challenge.  We are now on Day 6.  Please feel free to read the other days and start at anytime! Incorporate this challenge to fit you!  Weekly, monthly, daily however it will work for you!   All material is original blog material written by Dixie. ( I just borrowed the idea ;)   Scripture suggestions are from my personal study, all thoughts and challenges are from my personal history and my future as I too continue to strive for more closeness to Christ.

Thought for the day:  We are all thankful for the good things in our lives, for the peace for the comforts, for the things that make us happy, for the things that bring us joy.  But what about the burdens, the tragedies, the tough times?  When we study the gospel of Jesus Christ, we learn that we are here on the earth today in order to progress, to learn, to grow, and to be perfected, that we may live again with our Father in Heaven.   In order to do that we must be tried and tested, purged and purified, that we may be made perfect through suffering, that we will learn to put our whole trust and faith in God.  This is something I must think on personally everyday as I live, like many others I am sure, in the refiner’s fire.  I have buried my 20-year-old son, 3-year-old daughter and 34-year-old step son, these are among my heaviest of burdens. I anger not at my Savior though, because of my tragedy.  I love him for death is not the end, and I am a new woman today because of the things I have suffered.  I glory not in the death of my children, I am not happy because of it I am not thankful for it, in that way, but I am thankful for the woman it forced me to become as rather than turning to anger and the ways of the world, I stayed with Father in Heaven and he heals my heart…….my trials have put my faith in a more perfect way….

“We complain sometimes about our trials. We need not do that. These are things that are necessary for our perfection. We think sometimes that we are not rightly treated, and I think we think correctly about some of these things. We think there are plots set on foot to entrap us; and I think we think so very correctly. At the same time we need not be astonished at these things. We need not be amazed at a feeling of hatred and animosity. Why? Because we are living in a peculiar day and age of the world; which is distinctively called the latter days.  I know that as other men we have our trials, afflictions, sorrows, and privations. We meet with difficulties; we have to contend with the world, with the powers of darkness, with the corruptions of men, and a variety of evils; yet at the same time through these things we have to be made perfect. It is necessary that we should have a knowledge of ourselves, of our true position and standing before God, and comprehend our strength and weakness; our ignorance and intelligence, our wisdom and our folly, that we may know how to appreciate true principles, and comprehend and put a proper value upon all things as they present themselves before our minds.  It is necessary that we should know our own weaknesses, and the weaknesses of our fellow men; our own strength as well as the strength of others; and comprehend our true position before God, angels, and men; that we may be inclined to treat all with due respect, and not to over value our own wisdom or strength, nor depreciate it, nor that of others; but put our trust in the living God, and follow after him, and realise that we are his children, and that he is our Father, and that our dependence is upon him, and that every blessing we receive flows from his beneficent hand”.- John Taylor

Penny in the shoe:  today when you feel the penny in your shoe think of something to be grateful for, even small things for we forget many days the tender mercies of the Lord in our daily lives.

Challenge for the day:  When thinking of your trials, your burdens, yours struggles, think of how they have changed you, your life for the good, look at the positive side, be thankful in all things.

Suggested Scripture Reading.  (reading made easy just click a link :) Psalm 34:19  2 Corinthians 4:8–18  1 Peter 4:12–13  Alma 36:3  Ether 12:6  D&C 121:7–8

Journaling thought:  How would your life be different if you had no trials or hardships?  What have you learned about yourself and about God from the things that you have suffered, from your personal Gethsemane?

Thankful for the Thorns

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door.  Her life and been easy, like a spring breeze.  Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.  During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son.She grieved over her loss.  As if that weren’t enough, her husband’s company threatened a transfer, then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come.  What’s worse, Sandra’s friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer.  “Had she lost a Child?  No, she has no idea what I’m feeling.”  Sandra shuddered.  Thanksgiving?  Thankful for what? she wondered.  For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear ended her?  For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child? “Good afternoon, can I help you?” The flower shop clerk’s approach startled her, “sorry,” said Jenny.  I just didn’t want you to think I was ignoring you.”I……I need an arrangement” spouted Sandra.  “For Thanksgiving?” Sandra nodded. “Do you want beautiful ordinary, or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call “thanksgiving special.” Jenny saw Sandra’s curiosity and continued, ” I’m convinced that flowers tell stories, that each arrangement insinuates a particular feeling.  Are you looking for something that conveys gratitude this Thanksgiving?” “Not exactly!” Sandra blurted.  “Sorry, but in the last five months everything that could go wrong has.”  Sandra regretted her outburst but was surprised when Jenny said, ” I have the perfect arrangement for you.” The door’s small bell suddenly rang, “Barbara Hi!” Jenny said.  She politely excused herself from Sandra and walked toward a small workroom.  She quickly reappeared carrying a massive arrangement of green bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses.  Only the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped, no flowers.  “Want this in a box?” Jenny asked. Sandra watched for Barbara’s response.  Was this a joke?  Who would want rose stems and no flowers?  She waited for laughter, for someone to notice the absence of flowers atop the thorny stems, but neither woman did.  “Yes please, its exquisite,”  said Barbara.  “You’d think after three years of getting the special, I’d not be so moved by its significance, but it’s happening again.  My family will love this one, Thanks!” Sandra stared, “why so normal a conversation about so strange an arrangement,” she wondered.  Um…..” said Sandra pointing, “that lady just left with umm….” “Yes?” said Jenny.  “Well, she had no flowers!”  said Sandra.  “Yep. That’s the Special, I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet.”  But, why do people pay for that?” In spite of herself Sandra chuckled.  “Do you really want to know,” asked Jenny.  “I couldn’t leave this shop without knowing” said Sandra.  “Thats good” said Jenny, “well,” she continued, ” Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today.  She thought she had very little to be thankful for.  She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs and she faced major surgery.”  “Ouch,” said Sandra.  “That same year,” Jenny went on, ” I lost my husband, I assumed complete responsibility for the shop and for the first time, spent the holidays alone.  I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel.”  “What did you do,” asked Sandra.  “I learned to be thankful for thorns.”  Said Jenny and Sandra’s eyebrows lifted.  “I’m a Christian Sandra, I”ve always thanked God for good things in life and I never thought to ask him why good things happened to me.  But, when bad stuff hit did I ever ask!  It took time to learn that dark times are important.  I always enjoyed the flowers of life but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God’s comfort.  You know the Bible says that God comforts us when we’re afflicted and from His consolation we learn to comfort others.”  Sandra gasped, “a  friend read that passage to me and I was furious, I guess the truth is , I don’t want comfort. I’ve lost a baby and I”m angry with God.”  She started to ask Jenny to go on when the doors bell diverted their attention.  “I’m here for twelve thorny long stems!” Phil laughed heartily.  “I figured as much,” smiled Jenny, “I’ve got them ready”  She lifted a tissue wrapped arrangement from the refrigerated cabinet.  “Beautiful,” said Phil, “My wife will love them”  Sandra could not resist asking, “these are for your wife? Do you mind me asking why thorns?”  “I’m glad you asked,” he said, “four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced.  After forty years we were in a real mess, but we slogged through, problem by rotten problem, we rescued our marriage and our love, really.  Last year at Thanksgiving I stopped in her for flowers.  I must have mentioned surviving a tough process because Jenny told me that for a long time she kept a vase of rose stems, stems! as a reminder of what she learned from thorny times.  That was good enough for me, I took home stems.  My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific thorny situation and give thanks for what the problem taught us.  I”m pretty sure this stem review is becoming a tradition!”  Phil paid Jenny, thanked her again and as he left said to Sandra, “I highly recommend the Special.”  “I don’t know if I can be thankful for thorns in my life,” Sandra to Jenny.  “Well, my experience says that thorns make roses more precious,” replied Jenny, “we treasure God’s providential care more during trouble than at any other time,  Remember, Sandra, Jesus wore a crown of thorns so that we might know his love.  Do not resent thorns.”  Tears rolled down Sandra’s cheeks.  For the first time since the accident she loosened her grip on resentment, “I’ll take twelve long-stemmed thorns please,” said Sandra.  “I hoped you would,” smiled Jenny, I’ll have them ready in a minute.  Then every time you see them, remember to appreciate both good and hard times.  We grow through both.”  “Thank you, what do I owe you?”  “Nothing, nothing but a pledge to work toward healing your heart.  The first year’s arrangement is always on me.”  Jenny handed a card to Sandra.  “I’ll attach a card like this to your arrangement but maybe you’d like to read it first, go a head, read it.”  The card said: My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses but never once for my thorns.  Teach me the glory of the cross I bear, teach me the value of my thorns.  Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain.  Show me that my tears have made my rainbow.

May our hearts be filled with gratitude today and always,

Love from Dixie